But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.
This week I’d like us to consider the Godly attribute of gentleness.
To me gentleness is something that directly impacts every person in our lives. Gentleness potentially has a huge impact on how we treat other people and perhaps even how those people treat themselves.
One dictionary definition is, "Considerate or kindly in disposition; amiable and tender." Tender, how often do we hear that word? And how often do we treat other people with love and tenderness? Not too often, huh?
Our society seems to value those who speak candidly. Being blunt is considered to be a positive attribute. Whoever speaks the loudest these days is the person to whom we listen. We have radio hosts like Howard Stern. Media favorites like Rosie O'Donnell. And outspoken critics like Bill O'Reilly. On our TVs and on our radios every single day, but few people are talking about tenderness.
And I admit I'm not much better. I've been known for my bluntness. At times it serves me well at work, but not in too many other places. I believe it is okay, under the direction of the Holy Spirit, to tell a person how they can grow in Christ, what steps they need to take to be closer to God or areas in their spiritual lives which need improvement. But it’s not okay to speak harshly, to tell my friends, family and strangers why their lives are a mess, why they need to get themselves together or why they are falling so far short of their individual marks in a way that is judgmental and cruel. But sometimes I fail in this area…but God is growing this attribute in me and over the last couple of months I have learned God values discretion, gentleness, and yes - tenderness - in our dealings with people. It shows so clearly in Proverbs 15:1, where it says: A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.A soft word turns aside bad feelings, strife and discord. But words that are harsh just stir things up. This is a good proverb for all of us to know.
And you know what I’m learning? Being harsh towards someone else never solves a problem. It just engenders bad feelings. You've seen this for yourself - you've been in many situations where something happened where you felt that the proper response included 'breaking someone down' (i.e., cutting another person up emotionally and exposing their faults to the world). Have you ever seen it help? I mean think about it, really? I even go and tell my friends about it and most of the time they cheer me on. But where did I end up? Feeling badly because the Holy Spirit has reminded me that I shouldn't treat people that way, It leaves the other person bitter, angry, embarrassed and hurt. And I have definitely not made that other person see his or her real or imagined faults. People automatically rush to defend themselves, right or wrong, in the face of an onslaught. And that's what I was - an onslaught. Remember - HARSHNESS BEGATS HARSHNESS. I don't believe you or I will ever get anywhere as long as we treat people unkindly. Instead heed the words of 2 Timothy 2:24, And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.
But you know what I have seen work? Calmly talking to another person about what's going on. Asking that person how he or she sees things instead of always forcing your point of view on that person. Taking the time to explain how some situation or unkind word affected you - not assuming that person knows and simply doesn't care. In other words, it’s being kind instead of boisterous, self-righteous or hard.
Gentleness is what Jesus showed his disciples as they asked him question after question. He never lost patience. He always spoke gently. And he equipped those disciples to spread the Gospel throughout the world. That shows clearly the power of a kind word.
Can you show gentleness to those who are around you? Can you practice tenderness as you help guide your spiritual brothers and sisters on their own spiritual journeys? Colossians 3:12 tells us, Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Gentleness…something the world could use a whole lot more of...
To be continued…
Tommy—one counted among the redeemed.
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